Sixty, huh? Well, congratulations on reaching level sixty! That’s like, the diamond anniversary of being not quite dead yet. And let’s face it, after fifty, every birthday feels less like a celebration and more like a system update that takes longer and longer. Where did all the time go? It feels like just yesterday you were turning fifty… or maybe that was last week. Memory, eh? What memory?

The problem is, finding the right words for this momentous occasion can be tricky. You want to acknowledge the gravity of the situation – six decades is a serious commitment to living! – but also keep things lighthearted. After all, nobody wants a depressing birthday card. We want to remind them that even though their knees might creak louder than a haunted house, they’re still young at heart. And probably deserve a nap more than anyone else we know.