Another year older, huh? Honey, I swear, just yesterday you were chasing me around the yard with water balloons. Now you’re chasing me around the house for the TV remote! I guess time flies when you’re having fun… or at least when someone is finally old enough to complain about their back. Seriously though, birthday boy, where did the years go?

And let’s be real, birthdays are a little scary. More candles, more gray hairs, more doctor’s appointments looming on the horizon. It’s basically a reminder that we’re one step closer to needing help getting out of the recliner and yelling at kids to get off our lawn. Plus, I have to figure out how to top last year’s surprise party, which involved a donkey and a slightly-too-enthusiastic mariachi band. My therapist is still talking about that, by the way.