Happy Birthday to my favorite niece! (Yes, I know you’re technically my *only* niece, but let’s not dwell on technicalities. I’m trying to make you feel special here!) I was going to get you a pony, but then I remembered that I’m not entirely sure where I’d keep it, and honestly, cleaning up after a pony sounds like a job for someone with *way* more patience than I possess. So, scratch the pony.